In this series about rehearsal using the five senses, we’ve talked about using sound, taste, sight, and touch. This last rehearsal prompt, invites us to use the sense of smell in rehearsal. There is a wonderful saying in the movement practice, the Nia Technique: “smell the moment.” As speakers, in that liminal space just after we’ve rehearsed and warmed-up and just before we open our mouths to speak, we take a breath and smell the moment. We look into the audience, read the room, take in the faces, the space, this specific, particular, unique, exact moment. This is perhaps my favorite moment, when we are ready, alert, and waiting, peeking over the precipice, through the curtain, our hand on the door before turning the knob. I remember waiting back stage in that liminal space. I was listening to the audience, their chatter and laughter, the programs murmuring, the chairs scraping, the ushers ushering, the expectation and delight. One of the actors asked if I was nervous. I said...Read on.

There is an oft unspoken skill that performers seem to know, but have no memory of being taught. That is because this is something that we do not experience in rehearsal, only in performance: riding the wave of laughter and applause. We may not know what a certain audience will find funny and we are often surprised if there is applause during a performance. We expect applause at the end, but how to know the right moment to leave the stage? When do we come back for a second or third bow? We learn this skill only by performing before a live audience. Mid-performance, the skill is to ride the wave of applause or laughter and then, just as the wave begins to wane, jump in and continue decisively and with vocal strength. There is a sweet spot to hit that is somewhat intuitive. If we ignore the audience and keep talking or jump in too soon…Read on.

It may sound counter-intuitive, but as communicators, we must go slow to go fast. As a speed-speaker, I can attest that when I speak quickly, my audience is lost. When I breathe and scaffold my communication, the audience comes with me. Many things contribute to my hare-like tempo: anxiety, an internal sense that I should hurry up to make space for others, and the disconnection from my audience that results. Admittedly Type A, I like to check things off of my list, get this conversation or talk over with. Talking without stopping is also correlated with domineering—not leaving space for others, controlling the interaction. But of course, if the purpose of communication is to have an impact, to create relationship, to share, then simply skipping through those precious moments without connection is a waste of everyone’s time. We leave our audience baffled and bored. So how do we slow down?…Read on.

I. Thou shalt not hide from the audience but shall open to them, share with them, and pull your hair back so that it is not obscuring your expressive face and eyes.

II. Thou shalt not…Read on.

One very strange feature of virtual communication, aside from needing to look into a camera lens in order to have “eye contact,” is that we are asked to look at OURSELVES while interacting with others! It’s distracting, to say the least. Unnerving! And, did I say, distracting? Whether working with my clients on in-person or virtual communication, we use skills and techniques that consciously put our focus on the other, on the audience. So having our own visage mirror us, woo us, pull our focus, tease and antagonize us, adds a challenge to virtual communication. It’s hard to be present. And can make us feel anxious. So what can we do about the distraction of ourselves on our computer screens? Read on…

This is just ridiculous. Honestly, I don’t even know where to begin with this. Ludicrous. Is the point to dehumanize our audience so we feel superior? To humiliate them? To infantilize them? Make them less threatening? Why do we think of the audience as an adversary to begin with? And how indeed do we hope to force ourselves to see something that isn’t even there? Should we ignore the dressed audience? Look away or over their heads? Squint? Sheesh. What a waste of everyone’s time to focus energy on what isn’t there when we could be falling in love with our audience, including our audience, giving a gift to our audience, engaging, embracing, dancing, playing with our audience. If we are scared, as most of us are, of speaking in public, there are many, many wonderful skills and techniques we can use to help us enjoy our time in the limelight. The basics are…Read on.

Is this how we want to leave our audience? Propped up and stifling a yawn? It’s true, there’s no stated rule that says talks must be boring (unlike the oft touted rule that talks need to “be redundant”). But in many cases my clients feel an unspoken expectation to be boring. They believe that lectures should be full of jargon. They believe that keynotes should be long, “high-level” (unspecific), and demand nothing from the audience because we all know that keynotes come after lunch and people need to digest. In recent weeks I have heard:…Read on.

If Tom Peters, renowned author of many best-selling books on business including, In Search of Excellence, were to say that he is good at anything—writing, teaching, connecting with others—he would have to admit that all of his skills come together when he is on stage giving a talk. I am honored to know Tom and often pick his brain about the skills and techniques that make him so compelling. He is always, “generous company.” Below are just a few of the tips he has shared over the years. And, trust me, there will be additions long after publication of this post! Tom is never done generating ideas! We begin here…Read on.

Imagine a circus performer moving directly from practicing aerial feats in a studio to performing those same feats in a circus tent, in costume, with blinding lights, for a large crowd of rowdy onlookers. Nobody would expect that to work out well. Any performer knows that we need a transition between practice and performance. In the theater, we set aside a full week to be awful: we call it “tech week.” During tech week we are awkward, make big mistakes, lose any spark, while we get used to the props, set, stage, lights, music, sound design, people in the seats, and begin to bring it all together. As speakers and presenters, we can give ourselves this gift. We can do a mock-up rehearsal or two in our own space and, if we are really proactive, a “tech rehearsal” in the presentation space with all the tech—slides, clicker, lights, mic, everything. Here is what a tech rehearsal might look like for a corporate speaker…Read on.

Here is National Geographic photographer, Ami Vitale, being fitted with her headset mic for her talk at our Charlottesville TEDx. See the tiny beige ball peeking out from under her hair on the left? That ball must be placed quite close to the mouth, but not too close or every plosive is explosive! After learning all we can about the audience—who, how many, what we can give them—we get as much information as we can about the microphone set-up for the event. Again, we might find that the organizers themselves do not yet have the answers, but asking the questions will give a nudge so that we have the information sooner rather than later and can prepare. :Questions to ask:..Read on.

I’ve often regaled you with the ways and reasons to know your audience, from reading the local news paper to mingling with the audience before events. This week, we go back to step one: ask the organizers these quick questions the moment we are asked to speak…Read on.

Have you ever been in a meeting or presentation where the topic of concern is derailed by just one question or issue? This is what I refer to as a “Rabbit Hole;” we are sucked into the vortex and the work that we hoped to accomplish vanishes along with our patience. Many of my clients experience Rabbit Holes when presenting to audiences with a variety of differing interests, often doused in strong emotions, and perhaps lacking the technical expertise of the presenters. To be clear, Rabbit Holes are part of every important negotiation! And the points that people bring up are valid…they just can’t necessarily be addressed and resolved in the allotted time. And some issues are simply not solvable. Here is an example of a meeting filled with potential Rabbit Holes…

Recently I saw Elvis Costello in concert. I can’t remember the last time I felt so treasured, so seen, so held by an artist. And, although he thinks that Charlottesville is in North Carolina, it felt like he had a special love for our small town. Mr. Costello got into town early that morning and spent the day…Read on.

There’s an old joke about community theater. Imagine a group of young, scrubbed, overall-clad youngsters in a barn. One projects loudly, “We’ve got a barn! Let’s put on a show!” The others ad lib with big smiles, “Sure thing!” “I can build the sets with this old scrap wood!” “We can use this sheet for a backdrop!” “I can sew these old rags into costumes!” Then, all at once, the whole group stops talking, orients towards a kid standing on a hay bale, settles into varied comfortable but affected positions, and gazes expectantly. The kid on the hay bale launches into a monologue and/or song. This stereotypical trope from amateur theater is easy to satirize (Christopher Guest’s Waiting for Guffman does this with love). And I am not recommending that anyone do this on stage, exactly…but the truth is that the audience …Read on.

Recently I was on a Zoom call with the inimitable, indomitable, inordinately prolific Tom Peters(!). I joined the Zoom link in time to see Tom’s ceiling, desk, windows, a bookshelf, all flying by as he carried his iPad to the desk. Then I heard, “I’m setting up Ruth.” I had no idea what that might mean until I saw his Ruth Bader Ginsburg bobble-head bobble into view. His colleague, Shelley, said, “Tom, I can see Ruth. Can you move her out of frame?” Tom then propped up his iPad horizontally, placed Ruth on the right, just beyond the camera lens and out of view. Why? Read on.

My father, Warren Bennis, believed that great leaders are made, not born. And I believe that great speakers are made, not born. Great speakers are practicing skills and techniques, whether they learned them from acting teachers, by watching others, or through play as a child (and adult!).

Dad was a wonderful speaker. Here are a few of the things I learned from him about public speaking…Read on.

It seems obvious, doesn’t it? When we communicate, we do it to connect with other people: our audience, our team, our loved ones. But sometimes, we unconsciously obscure our communication, hiding behind a thick swath of hair or fancy jargon, averting our gaze, curling our bodies inward, speaking softly. When we are self-conscious, we hide.

One thing that helps us to shift from being self-conscious to being engaging is to remember to simply include others. This is an intention, is active, is a verb, gives us something TO DO: to include.

By working with active, positive, intentions, we take the focus off of ourselves and put it where it belongs, on others.

This week, take an inventory to make sure you can be SEEN (hair out of face…Read on.

Why do we communicate?

Sometimes, admittedly, we speak just to have a sense of self, as Harriet Lerner reminds us in her wonderful book, The Dance of Anger (more on that in another post). Sometimes we speak out-loud to figure something out—think of Hamlet’s “to be or not to be” soliloquy. But most of the time, we communicate to ignite a give-and-take, to be in relationship with the other, the audience, friend, partner, team.

This week, include your audience, ask yourself…read on…