Intentions speak louder than words

 The theater director and father of modern acting technique, Konstantin Stanislavski, used the term “objective,” to help actors focus on playing an action, rather than pushing for a state of being (“to persuade” vs. “to be upset” see “To Be vs. To Do”).  I like the term, “intention,” rather than objective because I find it more direct. Stanislavski believed that we always have an intention, even if we are not aware of it.  That is what makes us behave in wonderfully quirky, positively human ways. We always want something from the other characters in the play and we always want something from the other people in our lives.  That is our intention. If we do not choose a clear intention, we can default to intentions that are not helpful, undermine us, focus our energy on ourselves, and leave us expressively flat and disconnected.

We communicate our intention, not our words.

This is really important. 

Imagine a person saying, “I love you,” while sneering.  What message do we get?  Do we feel loved?  Do we trust those words?  What is the real communication?  Their intention is not aligned with their text. 

 In this case, the unintentional intention of the speaker might be, “to get this person away from me,” or “to placate.”

 Imagine a speaker rolling their eyes and rushing through a slide-deck, while saying “This is vital information for the future of our company. “ We might get the idea that this information is unimportant, irrelevant, boring.

 In this case, the intention of the speaker may be “to get this over with” or “to do my unimportant job.”

 Having a clear, positive, active intention:

·      Animates us.

·      Creates congruence between what we’re saying (the text) and how we’re saying it (the physical communication)

·      Eases anxiety.

Here is what is at risk if we do not have a clear intention:

·      We can default to putting the focus on ourselves (“To look good”).

·      We can default to worrying, which increases anxiety (“To not shake”).

·      We can default to intentions that undermine our message (“To get this over with”).

Remember, helpful intentions are:

• An action, a verb, rather than a state of being (“to cheer up,” vs. “to be happy.”) TO___________

• Framed in the positive (“to excite,” vs. “to not look silly.”)

• Puts the attention on others, the audience (“to include,” vs. “to impress.”)

• Conscious, clear, chosen.

This week, before going into any heightened or important meeting, presentation or conversation, check-in and choose an active, positive, juicy intention.