Virtual Eye Contact

Recently I was on a Zoom call with the inimitable, indomitable, inordinately prolific Tom Peters(!). I joined the Zoom link in time to see Tom’s ceiling, desk, windows, a bookshelf, all flying by as he carried his iPad to the desk. Then I heard, “I’m setting up Ruth.” I had no idea what that might mean until I saw his Ruth Bader Ginsburg bobble-head bobble into view. His colleague, Shelley, said, “Tom, I can see Ruth. Can you move her out of frame?” Tom then propped up his iPad horizontally, placed Ruth on the right, just beyond the camera lens and out of view. Why? Because Ruth focuses Tom’s attention where it must be: on the lens of the camera, which is the eye of the audience. When we look down at our screen, instead of at the camera lens, we see our own visage and the framed faces of our audience; intuitively, it feels right to look at the faces. However, when we look away from the camera, our audience experiences it as losing eye-contact, disengaging. The lens of the camera connects to the eyes of our team, the eye of the interviewer, our children’s gazes, our clients’ board room, our audience, our raison d’etre. Tom speaks to Ruth as a way of orienting himself to the camera, which, on a phone and iPad is, at the far end. None of this is intuitive. It takes practice. And a bobble head.

If we do not look at the camera lens, those to whom we speak do not feel included. They do not feel seen. Of course, in live presentations, one of the first skills practiced is making eye contact with the audience. In virtual communication, speakers are left to gaze at a static piece of machinery instead of human beings. It is a loss. True. Virtual communication is draining. The lack of mutual connection and non-verbal communication disrupts the feedback loop of energy we receive in-person. And that’s exhausting. My rule of thumb: look at the camera when speaking, then look at the faces of the others when listening. That way we can balance our energy.

It’s also helpful to limit virtual meetings to 1/3 the time normally allotted. So a one-hour meeting would be 20 minutes with the cameras ON. The next 40 minutes are left to catch up on email and unread texts and on-line shopping and all the other stuff we would have been doing while “present” at the one-hour meeting.

So, this week, practice looking at the camera when in virtual communication. You can orient your gaze to the lens when you speak and back to the fascinating faces when listening. You do not have to glue your eyes to the camera—we all break eye-contact to think, to pause, to breathe, but then come back to share your gaze with your audience. I love Tom’s idea. My camera sits atop my laptop. I put a few thick books underneath to bring the camera eye-level. Perhaps I’ll get a bobble-head to sit just beyond the lens. Who will it be?

Post Script:

Just yesterday I received a late birthday present from a dear friend: a Ruth Bader Ginsburg Action Figure! I now have my “eye contact” mnemonic!

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