The Magical Ms. Busching

When my son, Luke, was in 3rd grade he had a wonderful, unforgettable teacher. In fact, Ms. Busching is something of a legend in our town. She has a way of connecting to the kids, seeing them, and like sun on a flower, her seeing coaxes the kids to bloom.

One afternoon Luke bounded down the school steps, beaming. Ms. Busching had given him a book to read!

“A book?” I asked, “I thought you didn’t like books.”

Luke answered, “Oh, I like books. Just not the ones you want me to like.”

Ah.

“It sounds like Ms. Busching really gets you.”

“That’s the thing about Ms. Busching. She gets everyone.”

And it’s true.

This made me reflect on my own experience of being seen and understood. Certainly, my closest friends are people who “get” me. The question is, how can we train ourselves to be the kind of person who “gets everyone?” This is a bit like what I refer to as “Blue Bathroom coaching,” or the ability to reflect others in a positive light.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we all could capture a little of that magic? I know that Ms. Busching is a rare human being.

And that we all can practice a few things that can help us “get” at least a few more people, if not everyone:

Acceptance, attention, and patience.

• Acceptance: Practice seeing the other person exactly as they are, every crevice, mystery, scar, and foible.

• Attention: Pay rapt attention. Look for the light, the sense of possibility.

• Patience: Turn off the “what’s next, can we hurry this along” thoughts and rest.

This week, let’s expand our circle of people we “get,” slow down enough to “get” a few people we might otherwise avoid, ignore, or make assumptions about.