When clients assure me that they do not need to prepare, that they are better when they “wing it,” I remind them of Mark Twain’s remark, “It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.” Exactly. Improvisation takes years of experience, weeks of rehearsal, and is grounded in strong structure and technique. This week, we practice structure to free our creative and improvisational selves.

In my work I often get push-back when I insist that my clients do what I call Extreme Preparation, which includes everything from what to say, to what to wear, and tons of practice. I get it. I do. There is a lot of fear around digging in deep. First, we may not know how to prepare, what to do, how to rehearse, what questions to ask, what skills and techniques to employ. Also, there is a real fear of losing that ineffable sense of being fresh. “I just want to let it happen. When I rehearse, it just gets stale.” I hear ya. The trouble is that when we do not prepare fully, we are counting on luck. We are crossing our fingers and hoping that the stars will align and the talk or presentation or interview or hard conversation will be brilliant! And sometimes it all does come together. Phew! And other times, it just doesn’t. It’s hard to be consistent when we do not have strong undergirding.

If you feel stale when you rehearse, it’s not because you rehearsed, you feel stale because you didn’t rehearse enough.

This week, set aside time to prepare for any important, heightened or weighty communication you have coming up.

This week, we pay attention to our precious throats, noticing when they are free and when we might be holding something back, cutting something off, silencing ourselves.

Read more to learn how I lost my voice and found it again just in time for opening night…

If you find yourself in our house some evening, you might hear someone intone the name, “Alexander” in a deep and sonorous voice. There is no verbal response, though every person within earshot will suddenly appear to grow, as if being pulled upward towards the ceiling by an invisible thread. Actors, musicians, writers, video gamers, singers, spoken-word artists, painters, YouTubers, surgeons, athletes, anyone who finds themselves doing a repetitive physical action can benefit from the Alexander Method. Not just for posture, but for an open voice, free of tension.

This week, imagine there is a tiny thread just behind the tippy top of your head in the small indentation. Sense that this thread lifts, tilting the head slightly forward, lowering the chin, releasing the muscles in the front of the neck. The whole, subtle movement feels like falling upward, the spine finds space between the vertebrae, the lungs fill easily, and we feel like our limbs can move freely, dangling from the shoulder girdle and hips.

This week: “Alexaaaaaanderrrr.”

Who was this Alexander and how did he find this powerful tool?

In the wonderful Ken Burns documentary, Jazz, Albert Murray says that Duke Ellington had an “experimental disposition.” That phrase caught me. I paused the screen, startled. I want that! How does one cultivate an experimental disposition? How does one approach everyday events and tasks as if we are inventing them in the moment, so that everything feels alive, new, fresh, unexpected? This week, let’s cultivate an experimental disposition by consciously inviting in the unknown. Read on to hear how composers and scientist beckon the “cloud.”

Do communicators really need to warm up their bodies and voices? Along with breathing, warming up is a place where I feel my clients question my methods. I understand! First, we look and sound really silly. So that’s not normal in an office. Second, nobody else does it, right? And we give talks, lead meetings, have Zoom calls all day long. Without warming up! So why do it?

When we communicate using our bodies, we do it better when our bodies are warmed up. Full stop. Think of an athlete. Would any athlete ever consider running onto the pitch, field, or court without warming up? Would any musician, ever, anywhere, not warm up? Would a singer, dancer, or actor step onto the stage or into the recording studio without warming up? Absolutely not. Why? Because their bodies are the vessels they depend upon to do their activity. And if that body is not ready, warm, practiced, present, there is no way that person can perform well. And guess what, your body is the vessel for your communication. Your posture, your breathe, your voice, your expression, all shift when you warm up. You become more alive, more present, more calm, your voice will be more resonant. Your presence will be more captivating. You will have more impact.

Why wouldn’t we give ourselves that advantage?

Read on for a link to a 3 minute video with a warmup you can do anywhere—in your car, at your desk, in a bathroom stall, anywhere.

Are you afraid of public speaking? Do you become self-conscious in front of a group or the camera? Most of us, even professional actors, feel the same way. But actors have a simple technique taken from the great Stanislavski that reminds us to ask, What am I here To Do?

You can never force yourself to BE anything (“be happy,” “be charismatic,” “be present”). It is a fool’s errand to think that we can control our state of being by just willing it. Rather than “being calm,” we can take a breath. Rather than “being curious,” we ask a question.

This week, we play with actions and intentions. When you find yourself facing a difficult conversation, a presentation, or simply avoiding the boredom of another Zoom meeting, ask yourself, “What do I want to do?” Give yourself an action. To engage. To entice. To lift up. To spark. To give. To understand. To share.

Read the full post with examples of actions at work.

When I was a first-year acting student at NYU’s Tisch School for the Arts, we had a phenomenal lecture series.

The actor Kevin Kline told a story that I keep with me always. He had auditioned for every single acting program out there. And had been rejected by every one. By the time he got to his Juilliard audition, he had given up completely. Juilliard, for those of you who don’t know, is the holy grail of acting schools along with Yale School of Drama and the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art.

Mr. Kline said that he knew he had absolutely no chance of getting into Juilliard, so he went in to the audition with a sense of “whimsey.” That whimsey, that playful, buoyant, light ,and maybe even silly quality, turned out to be just what Juilliard was looking for. When Mr. Kline let go, stopped pushing, his work came alive.

This week, let go of perfection—it doesn’t work anyway. Play with whimsey!

This week, we consciously introduce the 3 Communication Charmers: Curiosity, Contribution, and Commitment. When we proactively get Curious, Contribute to the conversation, and Commit to being present and paying attention, we generate creativity, trust, and connection.

Give it a go and see what changes…!

This week we play with consciously avoiding Complaint, Criticism, and Cutting-off—in all interactions from team meetings to dinner conversations.

If the goal is to converse, communicate, and connect, these three Communication Catastrophes serve only to negate others, create anger and resentment, and to splinter groups.

The first thing is to become aware of our own patterns. With awareness comes change. Notice when we complain, criticize, or cut-in when someone else is speaking. Even those of us with eye-rolling teenagers can give this a go!

This week: consciously avoid complaining, criticizing, and cutting others off when they are speaking. Then, notice how our relationships shift.

Next week: we go further and substitute Communication Catastrophes with Communication Charmers!

“Play is the continuous evidence of creativity, which means aliveness.” —D.W. Winnicott

This week, I invite you to nurture your own sense of aliveness by consciously bringing play into your daily life.

In the theater, we say that “theater work is life work.” The work we do to be better actors, is the work we do to be better people. This week, we emulate actors to increase our presence, impact, connection, and sway in the world. What makes someone a good actor? Read on!

My father, Warren Bennis, used to say that if we find someone boring, it means we are not asking the right questions. My father was never bored and found everyone utterly fascinating.

Your challenge this week:

Make a conversation interesting by asking new questions.

Here’s how my father worked his magic…

The simplest, most accessible, most profound tool we have to enhance our presence, is with us every moment. Our breath.

Calming breath is used for anxiety, vocal quality, grounding, finding your authentic voice, transitions, to connect to your self, to connect with your emotions, and to connect with your audience.

This week, we breathe!

Last week, I asked you to simply listen to the voices of announcers on the radio. Just listen for the sounds of the voices.

This week, I want you to listen deeper. What can you tell about the person from their voice? Think about emotion, connection, present or reading?

This week, as you drive, or cook or even watch the news (you might have to close your eyes), listen to the voices of the hosts, guests, reporters, interviewers. Just listen. Notice. Next week we will do more with this.

Every great communicator starts with an awareness of themselves in context, in relationship, in a dance with the world around them.

This week, be a first-class noticer.

I have a friend, Jeannie, who makes me funny. I am not a funny person, generally, but for whatever reason, I become especially hilarious when I’m with Jeannie. There are certain people I love to be around because they bring out the best in me; I see myself through their eyes and grow into that person.

I remember teaching acting at the Cleveland School for the Arts. If I could immediately identify and point out something special about each kid, they literally bloomed into that potential before my eyes.

This week, we will all practice being Jeannie, being a person who brings out the best in others. I call this “Blue Bathroom Coaching.” Try it.