How to Show Up Fully for Every Communication: or why preparation matters
In my work I often get push-back when I insist that my clients do what I call Extreme Preparation, which includes everything from what to say, to what to wear, and tons of practice. I get it. I do. There is a lot of fear around digging in deep. First, we may not know how to prepare, what to do, how to rehearse, what questions to ask, what skills and techniques to employ. Also, there is a real fear of losing that ineffable sense of being fresh. “I just want to let it happen. When I rehearse, it just gets stale.” I hear ya. The trouble is that when we do not prepare fully, we are counting on luck. We are crossing our fingers and hoping that the stars will align and the talk or presentation or interview or hard conversation will be brilliant! And sometimes it all does come together. Phew! And other times, it just doesn’t. It’s hard to be consistent when we do not have strong undergirding.
As for that stale feeling, ask any performer about that! We all know what happens when we hit tech week—that’s when we add in the lights, costumes, sets, and props. The performances, which before were free and alive, are stilted and forced. Tech week is when I call my friends and family and say, “Don’t come. It sucks. I’m horrible.” And my friends and family reply, “Oh! It’s tech week! See you opening night!”
If you feel stale when you rehearse, it’s not because you rehearsed, you feel stale because you didn’t rehearse enough. You have to fight through the awkward, stilted, uncomfortable, self-conscious, “tech week” in order to get to the free, spontaneous, alive moments once again. But this time, you have the undergirding of technique and rehearsal so that you are not dependent on luck.
My friend, Kira, came down from Boston to see me in the wonderful play, *The Other Place. She came for both the Saturday night performance and again for the Sunday matinee. Saturday night I’d been anxious—so many friends and critics in the audience, high pressure. Sunday, I was free, relaxed, more agile and present. I asked Kira if she had a favorite performance—did she notice a difference between the two? She was surprised by the question, saying that, no, she didn’t notice anything different in the energy or in my performance or the play as a whole. She enjoyed both performances in different ways and attributed that to seeing it twice. I was both amazed and yet not surprised. Of the 26 performances we did of that play, I would say that “the stars aligned” and the performance just sang for me, maybe five times. The other 21 performances were just as strong because I relied on the sturdy undergirding of technique and rehearsal to create the spark, to keep me present.
In communication, all communication, we have an opportunity to prepare well so that we are not relying on luck and can have consistent and connected communication.
What about Improvisation, you ask? They’re just making stuff up out of thin air and it’s great, right? Next, we’ll look at how even improv is only as alive as the mastery of its structures.
*”The Other Place” by Sharr White directed by Betsy Tucker at Live Arts with Martyn Kyle (who did this wonderful photo), Zoe Farmingdale, and Scott Dunn.