Communication Charmers: curiosity, commitment, and contribution

Last week, I asked you to notice when you fall into complaining, criticizing, and cutting others off. What happens to our interactions, relationships, brainstorming sessions, team meetings, when they are absent of the 3 Communication Catastrophes? What changed? Did you notice a different feeling about dinners? Meetings? It takes a while to change patterns, so keep noticing, keep playing, keep practicing.

I also asked you to watch out for ways of disguising the wolves of Complaint, Criticism and Cutting-off:

• “I’m just curious about why you chose that image to illustrate our progress? It’s certainly artistic.” (Criticism disguised as Curiosity)

• “Good point. I think we get the gist. I’ve got an idea for the training for our new client.” (Cutting-off disguised as Contribution)

• “I’m here to help you cook, but am wondering how long this is going to take?” (Complaint disguised as Commitment)

This week, we consciously introduce the 3 Communication Charmers: Curiosity, Contribution, and Commitment. When we proactively get Curious, Contribute to the conversation, and Commit to being present and paying attention, we generate creativity, trust, and connection.

Here are a few ways to transform the statements above into Communication Charmers:

• “Tell me more about this graph. What would you most like us to act on to continue this progress?” (Curiosity)

• “So interesting! Is this something we can add to our data base of case studies? We could even tweak it for our new client.” (Contribution)

• “I’ll do the onions . Or whatever you need. I’m here as your sous-chef.” (Commitment)

How about adding Curiosity, Contribution, and Commitment to our interactions? From the dinner table to the board room? What would shift?