Sway: communicating with sway in our content
I am totally obsessed with the improvised swing dance competitions. The contestants are paired randomly, a song begins, and they have a minute or two to create a dance. Before the music begins, they physically connect. There is a sense of danger and play. Upon hearing the music, one of them tosses out a stylistic gesture that becomes a theme and both lead and follow using the very strict form of swing dance. They know exactly what to expect and have no idea what will happen. They have sway.
In the same way that we must be rooted in order to find sway in our bodies, we must have a structure in order to find sway in the content of our talks, agendas, and even tricky conversations.
In the post, Memorizing vs. Knowing a Talk, we looked at finding the balance between the rigid monotony that can come from memorizing and the inconsistency that can come from “winging it.” The balance is found, once more, in form and freedom. Preparation matters. Form matters. Only then, can we let go and play with abandon. Ask a professional improvisor how many years of study and hours of rehearsal have they clocked in order to become fluent enough in the form to find their sway.
The form I like for most presentations and speeches is very simple and allows for infinite variation and creativity. It is simply the introduction and conclusion, beautifully crafted and bold, with three main chunks in between, each using a story or vivid example to illustrate.
Even in a tricky conversation, some sort of form, rather than just jumping in and hoping for the best, is wonderful. It calms us, roots us, reminds us why this interaction is important; we give ourselves the gift of thinking it through.
Bring to mind a conversation we may be avoiding, an upcoming meeting, or a presentation. Remember the improvised swing dance—a giving and receiving, a willingness to be influenced.
Before we begin, prepare:
What is our most aspirational outcome?
What is our intention?
Craft a beginning, (“Any chance we can talk about ____?” “Here are a few items I’d like to discuss.” Or the first line of our talk).
Think of a few examples, stories to share illustrating our point or how we might proceed.
Craft an ending that leaves space and time for more, keeps the process, ideas, and relationship alive. Even when a talk is ended, we want a sense of future possibility, action, insight.
During the conversation, meeting, or presentation:
Be willing to toss all expectation away!
Leave lots of space to breathe, listen, be swayed.
Presentations, meetings, and conversations really are a dance, so bringing that sense of sway into our conversations allows for unknown and unimagined outcomes.