Breaking Rule #5: “Be professional”
A friend recently said she was having a hard time fitting into the corporate world after leaving academia. She said she was “trying to be more professional.” When I asked what that meant, she said, “Somber. Serious.” She had been on a panel and found herself laughing, challenging, and enjoying the repartee. Reports are that she thrilled the audience with her wit and brazen candor.
When we force ourselves into any external idea of how we should be, we end up with a two-dimensional, rigid, stock character. Rather than forcing ourselves into an idea of what a “professional” looks like (or sounds like!), I work with my clients to allow a free and alive presence, that is also appropriate to the situation. Many of us fear that if we are authentic, we will be inappropriate. Not so.
As long as we are clear about the given circumstances, our role, and our intention, we will find our behavior is both alive and appropriate without being stiff and controlled.
When my father, Warren Bennis, was the president of the University of Cincinnati in the 1970s, he spearheaded an effort to bring the municipal university into the Ohio State system. This four-year process was filled with friction, institutional stagnation, and even death threats.
At a UC board meeting, my father let it out. He was blue, hopeless, and his energy had been sapped. The chairman of the board took him aside and said, “You are not here to express your feelings. You are here TO LEAD US OUT OF THIS MESS.”
In this meeting, my father was not appropriate, he had forgotten the GIVEN CIRCUMSTANCES, his ROLE and his PURPOSE (Intention). When he realigned himself with these things, his energy, focus, and spirit revived. And in July of 1977, 158 years after its founding, the University of Cincinnati joined the Ohio State system.
We ask ourselves:
What are the given circumstances? This includes the audience, the purpose, the venue.
What is my role? Am I the leader? A part of a larger conversation? The facilitator?
What is my intention? My purpose? What am I hear TO DO for others?