How to Calm Anxiety
It’s opening night. I am standing in the shadows in my sturdy high-heels, nylons, and silky blue dress. Waiting. I am watching the stage manager introduce the show, reminding everyone to turn off their phones. But I am certain that the only thing the audience can hear is the sound of my heart beating like a dark drum. I look down at my chest expecting to see the fabric exploding with each thump.
I have done as much preparation as I can possibly do. I take a few deep, calming breaths. I remind myself that all of my monkey-mind thoughts are irrelevant. Thoughts about expectation and who is in the audience and what if I forget my lines and what if I look ridiculous and what if I humiliate myself? They have no place here and serve only to distract me from my purpose. In fact, it’s not about me at all. The audience brings the sweet gift of their presence and the willingness to join us in the shared conceit that what is happening in this black-box theater is really happening.
They simply want to participate in this story.
I breathe and remind myself of my intention: “I am here to share this story.”
The lights come up and I walk out onto the stage, to share.
In the above story is everything I know about stage-fright and anxiety:
It happens.
We survive.
It is not about me.
Also, in the story, are the tools we all have that allow us to experience anxiety and still show up:
IntentionNotice that I do not promise to get rid of anxiety. As we know, suppressing anything—an emotion, a habit, a thought—only gives it strength. But the more we prepare, the more fluent we are, and the more we are ready for whatever happens. The breath grounds us, calms us, and orients the audience. And the intention reminds us why we are here. We are here for the audience.