“It’s about connection with others.  And it’s also about staying connected with  yourself. As to why you’re doing this.  Why are you writing? Why are you drawing? What are your motivations?  And try to keep attentive to that. And so, by extension, you need to listen to yourself and you need to listen to others.” —Liza Donnelly. When I work with clients on speaking out and having a voice, I usually mean it literally. In this wonderful video, New Yorker cartoonist, Liza Donnelly, reminds us that self-expression is both vital and infinitely creative. Liza draws as she speaks, so we witness…Read on.

There were many things I learned in the African Theater class at college taught by the then-grad-student, Toyin Bello. One thing was to respond enthusiastically when Toyin asked a question like, “How are you all today?” We were jaded 20 year-olds, desperately cool, and would answer with a sour grunt. After watching a documentary on the musical Sarafina, where the cast and director would beam raucous and radiant welcomes to one another, I realized that Toyin was inviting us every day to join him in joy. I’m happily un-hip to this day, thank you Toyin! He also introduced me to the “Shakespeare of Africa,” Wole Soyinka, whose plays are still seared into my memory. Most importantly, Toyin taught me the true meaning of team work. He told us that …Read on.

Joan Goldsmith, a dear friend, co-author, and colleague of my father’s, recently found a typed copy of this essay while cleaning out her files. Dad’s words here compel us to make the connection between Leadership and Art. The essay was not published when he wrote it in 2002, but was included in the book, The Essential Bennis, followed by comments from Glenn Close. Dad loved the theater and I was lucky enough to benefit from his enthusiasm—we saw A Chorus Line on Broadway and Cats on the West End. His favorite author was Shakespeare of whom he said, “Every time I read Shakespeare, he’s learned something new!” He once said that Falstaff (“a fat, vain, and boastful knight, he spends most of his time drinking at the Boar's Head Inn with petty criminals, living on stolen or borrowed money”) was the first executive coach, sent by King Henry IV to prepare his son for the throne. Love that. Dad always connected Leadership and theater…and so do I. He wrote an article in Bloomberg called, Acting the Part of Leader and wrote the introduction to the book, Leadership Presence by Kathy Lubar and Belle Halpern, both performers who started the Ariel Group. I have to thank my father for so eloquently making the case for the work I do—using the skills and techniques of the theater to help people communicate as their full selves in the world. Here, he lays it all out for us. Enjoy…Read on.

“Art is choosing to do something skillfully, caring about the details, bringing all of yourself to make the finest work you can. It is beyond ego, vanity, self-glorification, and need for approval.”

—Rick Rubin, The Creative Act: A Way of Being

Last week I wrote about “expression service of…” This week I am giving a few examples of how communicating “in service of” invites a bold and strong presence because our sense of purpose, our intention, is connected to something bigger than ourselves. …Read on.

My daughter recently recorded a few songs with Colin Killalea of Chris Keup’s White Star Sound. After hearing a rough cut of the first song, “Anastasia,” I was moved to tell Colin that I saw, I knew, I could tell, that his work was in service of the music. Colin, a remarkable musician and producer, knew exactly what I meant. When I listen, there is no ego, no showing off, no marking territory, no wink to the listener saying, “aren’t I clever?” Our attention remains on the story, the feelings, the beauty and meaning of the song as told through the melody, lyrics, musical performances, and production. The work is to reveal that song, not obscure it. Colin’s work treats the song itself as a precious thing. As you listen, notice the delicate, almost etherial piano, the emotional swell that takes us with the storyteller into her dream, the hush of recognition as the song ends. This quality of “expression in service of,” threads itself throughout my work and in this blog. Generally, it is connected to…Read on.

In this last of the “Proactive Speaker” series (for now), we are lucky to have the text for actual TEDx Charlottesville introductions from two of our emcees, Kellie Sauls and Richard Averitt. After writing the post, “The Proactive Speaker: Introductions,” both reached out and offered examples* for us all. Moderators, facilitators, emcees, these are just a few of the beautiful introductions Kellie and Richard wrote. Their generosity, their clear intention to shine the light on the speaker and move the audience to be receptive and excited is palpable in their words. In my work with speakers, I remind them that it is the emcee’s job to brag for them and establish credibility in advance so that the speaker can dig right into the exciting work without that nagging insecurity. Below are the kinds of introductions I emulate. I aspire to this level of grace when celebrating the work of others.…Read on.

A few quick things to do before any interview…Read on.

Imagine a circus performer moving directly from practicing aerial feats in a studio to performing those same feats in a circus tent, in costume, with blinding lights, for a large crowd of rowdy onlookers. Nobody would expect that to work out well. Any performer knows that we need a transition between practice and performance. In the theater, we set aside a full week to be awful: we call it “tech week.” During tech week we are awkward, make big mistakes, lose any spark, while we get used to the props, set, stage, lights, music, sound design, people in the seats, and begin to bring it all together. As speakers and presenters, we can give ourselves this gift. We can do a mock-up rehearsal or two in our own space and, if we are really proactive, a “tech rehearsal” in the presentation space with all the tech—slides, clicker, lights, mic, everything. Here is what a tech rehearsal might look like for a corporate speaker…Read on.

When I was in 5th grade at the Cincinnati School for Creative and Performing Arts, I got my dream role: one of the steps-sisters in the musical, “Cinderella.” I cannot express just how much I loved playing Joy. I loved my co-step-sister, Portia. I loved the two hours of makeup complete with fake nose lovingly applied by a teacher who looked just like Dolly Parton (Mrs. Tippetts?). And I LOVED my prop hand-mirror which would explode when I looked into it! One night, as I reached for the mirror, ready for my big bang moment, the mirror was not on stage! In character, I furiously, searched the stage, getting more and more frenzied, until I screeched, “CINDERELLA! Where is my mirror!” A stage-hand quickly thrust a black-sleeved arm out, I grabbed the mirror, it exploded with a loud flash and puff of smoke, and the show went on. To this day, I assiduously check my props. ..Read on.

I still perseverate with regret about the time my dad gave an entire speech IN THE DARK! It was at the Harvard Kennedy School for about 100 people. He stepped behind the podium and into the shadows. Thank goodness he had a mellifluous voice to carry the rest of the audience with him. My mind, though, was whirring! How do I fix this? Do I ask someone? Who’s in charge here? Do I just start flicking all the light switches? Do I mime, “MOVE!! Shift to the right!” or stage whisper, “DAD! WE CAN’T SEE YOU!” Do I simply walk onto the stage and nudge him over or move the podium or…?” I did nothing. Thus, the ruminating. However, I vowed to be proactive and make sure future speakers, whether known to me or not, are IN THE LIGHT! For TED Talks, the hottest lights are aimed at the famous red circular rug on stage, showing the speaker where to stand. At our Charlottesville TEDx we encourage our speakers to use the whole stage, as long as they know the center red dot is their sweet spot. And, if they want to use the aisles or sit on the edge of the stage, we ask the tech crew if it is possible to make this happen. (They always say YES! Great thanks to JF Legault and The AV Company!) One year, we wanted a few of our coaches to start the event by reading poetry from different seats all over the 1000-person theater. JF and his crew set the lights in advance so that we knew our actors would be seen. In this photo by Edmond Joe, you see Mercedes Herrero reading her poem, lit up and radiant. A few years ago… Read on.

My father moderated a panel discussion of Nobel Laureates at Arcosanti. When he looked out into the audience, he noticed that everyone seemed bored, tired, hot. So, he moved the panel off the stage and into the audience. By changing the space, he changed the dynamic, and the speakers and audience came alive! My dad owned the space and used that sense of ownership to enhance the audience’s experience. Whenever I walk into a new performance, presentation, or training space, I explore every nook and cranny: the back row, the balcony, the banquet tables, the risers, the stage, the conference table, the backstage, the orchestra pit, the closest seats, the farthest seats, the exits and entrances. I sit, stand, run, hop, inhale, and allow myself to inhabit the space. The Ariel Group has a wonderfully simple exercise we used in our corporate trainings: …Read on.

Another place we tend to get passive as speakers is in the bio/introduction—what is going to be said and by whom. And, once more, the organizers will only be grateful when we are proactive. The best thing about tackling the introduction in advance is that we can off-load the bragging we often feel obliged to do in order to gain credibility. For our Charlottesville TEDx, we promised our speakers a thoughtful, rich, thorough, personal, generous, and loving introduction. This meant that our speakers could jump right into their talk rather than reassuring the audience they were worth listening to. Our phenomenal Emcees (pictured here are Kellie Sauls and Richard Averitt) spent lots of time researching the introductions and ran everything by the speaker and their coach to ensure that the intro elevated the speaker without giving away the content of the talk. It is not only hard to talk about our own credentials, it can sound desperate, narcissistic, or sales-y, and runs the risk of putting the audience off. It also takes away from the purpose of the talk—not to talk about ourselves, but to talk about our work in the world. Here’s what I recommend…Read on.

Here is National Geographic photographer, Ami Vitale, being fitted with her headset mic for her talk at our Charlottesville TEDx. See the tiny beige ball peeking out from under her hair on the left? That ball must be placed quite close to the mouth, but not too close or every plosive is explosive! After learning all we can about the audience—who, how many, what we can give them—we get as much information as we can about the microphone set-up for the event. Again, we might find that the organizers themselves do not yet have the answers, but asking the questions will give a nudge so that we have the information sooner rather than later and can prepare. :Questions to ask:..Read on.

I’ve often regaled you with the ways and reasons to know your audience, from reading the local news paper to mingling with the audience before events. This week, we go back to step one: ask the organizers these quick questions the moment we are asked to speak…Read on.

Years ago, as our kids waited for the school bus, a car careened up onto the sidewalk forcing us to flee up the grass hill to safety. We often witnessed cars come to a pause at the stop sign, then continue into the intersection not knowing the vertical street was (is!) a straightaway. The intersection has an elementary school, a city school bus stop for grades pre-K through high school, and a city bus stop. Our then seven year-old daughter wrote to City Council requesting a 4-way stop. A traffic study found there were not enough accidents to call for the change (don’t get me started). So, we painted a mandala to slow down the traffic through the intersection. We were proactive. Speakers, too, need to be proactive—we can’t assume event coordinators or venues will have all details covered … Read on.

This week on NPR’s All Things Considered, I heard Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy talk about the newly released study, "Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation," which finds that “29% increased risk of heart disease; a 32% increased risk of stroke; and a 50% increased risk of developing dementia for older adults.” Dr. Murthy says that our goal is “to build a society that is deeply connected….We know that in-person interaction is what we’ve evolved for over thousands of years. We’ve learned to interpret not just the content of what someone’s saying but also the sound of their voice and their body language and when we lose a lot of that in text-based interactions, then that impacts the strength of the connections that we can form.” Dr. Murthy reminds us that we have a cure…Read on.

Have you ever been in a meeting or presentation where the topic of concern is derailed by just one question or issue? This is what I refer to as a “Rabbit Hole;” we are sucked into the vortex and the work that we hoped to accomplish vanishes along with our patience. Many of my clients experience Rabbit Holes when presenting to audiences with a variety of differing interests, often doused in strong emotions, and perhaps lacking the technical expertise of the presenters. To be clear, Rabbit Holes are part of every important negotiation! And the points that people bring up are valid…they just can’t necessarily be addressed and resolved in the allotted time. And some issues are simply not solvable. Here is an example of a meeting filled with potential Rabbit Holes…

Last week I wrote about how to find your natural voice vs. an affected, pushed, or “put on,” voice. Today, I’ve made, as promised, a very silly video illustrating exactly what I mean. Be prepared to see…Read on.

Recently, I spoke with Seth Barrish, an actor, director, teacher, and Co-Artistic Director of the Barrow Group. Seth’s teaching has influenced more than just my acting: his work has profoundly influenced my work as a communication coach and, perhaps most importantly, as a communicator. Seth uses techniques that seem to tease out truly human behavior in all its quirky glory. In my work with leaders, speakers, and communicators, I value the beauty of human imperfection and rely on the skills and techniques I learned in Seth’s class. Seth used the Conversation Exercise to help actors …Read on.

Sometimes I feel uprooted, unfocused, disconnected from myself and the world around me. This is not to be confused with seeing the big picture, reading the room from a role of leadership. As communicators, we have tools to reconnect, reground, re-focus, so that we can be embodied, present, and connect with others. Here are a few simple tools I use to ground myself…Read on.