There is an oft unspoken skill that performers seem to know, but have no memory of being taught. That is because this is something that we do not experience in rehearsal, only in performance: riding the wave of laughter and applause. We may not know what a certain audience will find funny and we are often surprised if there is applause during a performance. We expect applause at the end, but how to know the right moment to leave the stage? When do we come back for a second or third bow? We learn this skill only by performing before a live audience. Mid-performance, the skill is to ride the wave of applause or laughter and then, just as the wave begins to wane, jump in and continue decisively and with vocal strength. There is a sweet spot to hit that is somewhat intuitive. If we ignore the audience and keep talking or jump in too soon…Read on.

My father moderated a panel discussion of Nobel Laureates at Arcosanti. When he looked out into the audience, he noticed that everyone seemed bored, tired, hot. So, he moved the panel off the stage and into the audience. By changing the space, he changed the dynamic, and the speakers and audience came alive! My dad owned the space and used that sense of ownership to enhance the audience’s experience. Whenever I walk into a new performance, presentation, or training space, I explore every nook and cranny: the back row, the balcony, the banquet tables, the risers, the stage, the conference table, the backstage, the orchestra pit, the closest seats, the farthest seats, the exits and entrances. I sit, stand, run, hop, inhale, and allow myself to inhabit the space. The Ariel Group has a wonderfully simple exercise we used in our corporate trainings: …Read on.

Here is National Geographic photographer, Ami Vitale, being fitted with her headset mic for her talk at our Charlottesville TEDx. See the tiny beige ball peeking out from under her hair on the left? That ball must be placed quite close to the mouth, but not too close or every plosive is explosive! After learning all we can about the audience—who, how many, what we can give them—we get as much information as we can about the microphone set-up for the event. Again, we might find that the organizers themselves do not yet have the answers, but asking the questions will give a nudge so that we have the information sooner rather than later and can prepare. :Questions to ask:..Read on.

When working with theater director and actor, Deb Gottesman, we immediately spoke the same language: the language of the theater. Deb knows what goes into crafting a performance that sings. She knows just how much time and work it takes to prepare a piece so that it comes alive in front of an audience. The day we began, Deb told me that the organization she co-founded with Buzz Mauro, The Theater Lab, had its annual fundraiser a few weeks before our TEDx Charlottesville event. Deb asked to front-load her preparation so that she would have the weeks before the fundraiser to focus just on that. We mapped it out and…Read on.

Fractals are ever-repeating shapes we find in nature, from trees and snails, to venous systems and plumes of smoke. Similarly, most every talk falls into a simple and universal structure. Plays also follow this pattern. No matter the length, no matter the purpose, most talks fall easily into the exact form we all learned in high school: Intro, three parts or Acts, Conclusion.

When clients first present a talk for me, I take notes, looking for this pattern. It’s very helpful for the speaker to know exactly what the three big chunks are in order to focus the text and learn the talk. It helps to see the form for pacing, emphasis, and arc. Read on…

When Dr. Drew Ramsey asked me if we could get a couch for his Charlottesville TEDx Talk, I jumped for joy! YES! Of course! And when he requested a couch he could walk on, I knew I was going to love working with him. Just having a couch on the stage gave Drew so much: it created a sense of place, his office; it rooted us in the roles of therapist and client; and it gave him a physical journey and a destination. He did not just sit on the couch, he lay down to ponder, he walked along the edge, reminding us that he was balancing ideas, he jumped on the seats, reminding us that all new ideas spring from creative play.

Movement that is habitual, stuck, repetitive, affected, keeps our communication stuck. Watch out for: pacing, meandering, wandering, backing up (in life, we only back up if a tiger is approaching—it’s OK to turn our backs to the audience).

Both walking and standing still are wonderful! We just want to make sure we are moving with purpose and clarity.

In order to cultivate freedom of movement, start here…

My friend, Selena, just sent me a text asking if I’d ever jumped out of an airplane. NO! And do I want to? NO! Do I think she is planning to go skydiving? YES! Absolutely. No doubt.

I call Selena, “My friend who says, yes!”

This week, practice saying YES to experiences, to life, to connecting with others. Read on for more on saying YES!

Next week, Selena teaches me to say “no!”