My friend, the wonderful movement teacher and writer, Susan McCulley, wrote a post about how we use language that just floored me. Susan asks, for instance, what if we substituted the word “aging” for the word “living?” “She’s aging well,” becomes…Read on.

Shhh…I do NOT tell my speakers there will be safety nets. I do not offer “confidence monitors” or a podium upon which to place pages of text. And yet sometimes, as we near our performance date, it becomes clear that a safety net is required in order to be fully present on stage.

My marvelous acting teacher, Alice Spivak , was called a “dialogue coach” for many famous actors, singers, models, and comedians. She would be on set or in rehearsal and give coaching from the side. One of her clients, the great Diahann Carroll, took on the role of Dr. Livingstone in John Pielmeier’s play Agnes of God on Broadway. For the first weeks, Alice sat in the front row with a copy of the script on her lap. If ever Ms. Carroll lost her way, Alice would tilt up her head, her face mirroring Dr. Livingstone’s emotion, and mouth the words with exaggerated clarity, a safety net lovingly unfurled over the orchestra pit. A seasoned and professional performer knows to ask for support when it is the best choice for the performance and therefore, for the audience.

Susan McCulley has coached many of our speakers at the Charlottesville TEDx. Her background as a writer, editor, artist, and mindful movement instructor give her the skills to support speakers along the way from crafting the text, to embodying the talk. One of her speakers took the very demanding risk of memorizing the entire 18-minute text. The speaker held notes twisting tightly in her hands, but knew she would not…Read on.

This photo of the visual art performer, Laurel Jay Carpenter, is taken in Berlin at the Hebbel Theater in 2005.

Laurel taught herself the famous, “walking over the chair” trick in real time as part of the “Gifted Generation" exhibit curated by Marina Abramovič. In this clip you can hear the song, “Maybe This Time,” from Cabaret as it played on loop in the artist's head. Laurel sings softly along as if giving herself a pep talk as she falls, once more, to the ground.

Maybe this time? No? Maybe now? Maybe?

Our world values commitment, perseverance, grit, never giving up. And yet, sometimes the best, healthiest thing to do, is let go.

In a recent tea-time conversation with Susan McCulley, she used the phrase, “I let go of the rope” two times to describe moments when she…Gave up? Gave in? Walked away? Let go? Realized she was pushing, pulling, forcing something that was not going to happen? Indeed, Susan knew that she was making a strong and wise decision. She was not giving up. She was letting go.

So, how do we recognize the difference between giving up and letting go? Read on…