“The charitable say in effect, 'I seem to have more than I need and you seem to have less than you need. I would like to share my excess with you.' Fine, if my excess is tangible, money or goods, and fine if not, for I learned that to be charitable with gestures and words can bring enormous joy and repair injured feelings.” ― Maya Angelou, “Letter to My Daughter” In this darkest time of the year, there is warmth, light, and loss. In the last two weeks, I have been witness to all of these. Many among us need to be held just now—those in crisis and those who surround them: the caretakers, the witnesses, the family, the community. When one person is in crisis, we are all in crisis and are called upon to support one another, to communicate care through act and word. A friend told me the story of a bundled and starlit holiday evening walk cut short when a car slid off of the road and into a tree. My friend slipped her shaking fingers out of her gloves to dial 911. The next day, my friend called her sister and cried and cried. Her sister, a nurse, knew what to do: listen and support. She said, “this is a Code Lavender.” Code Lavender comes out of the Cleveland Clinic to support their staff and “provides…Read on.

Just after I posted last week’s blog about generosity (thanks, Jake!), I began to think about overflowing generosity, endless outpourings, infinite neediness, The Giving Tree, boundless desire, the eternal teat, being bled dry. Yes, I am a parent. The expectation of limitless generosity that some of us might feel, is not healthy. For anyone—not the giver, nor the receiver.

So how do we maintain our abundant generosity and our whole selves? How do we balance taking care of ourselves and giving to others?

Read on…