Living Colour, the amazing hard-rock band from the 80s, captured me with their song, Cult of Personality. I remember warming up to perform a play at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, roaming the cobblestone streets, my Walkman cranking their album, Vivid.

“I'm the smiling face on your T.V.

I'm the cult of personality.”

Our culture values “personality,” a certain type of loud, big, bold, almost performative presence.  It’s like a fad, in style. The loudest, most expressive voice wins. Not necessarily the wisest, smartest, most creative, most compassionate, most insightful. So many artists, writers, leaders, actors (yes!), are in fact, very shy.   The push to fit into the current love of the “big personality” can increase anxiety, comparison, and even lead to a sense of worthlessness. I see this in my clients who come to me saying they are getting 360 Feedback that they don't have "Executive Presence." When I ask what that means, they say they are given the feedback that they are too measured, thoughtful, listen too much, don’t jump right in.  What a loss for those groups, teams, businesses, who miss out on the brilliance of the shy or introverted or simply thoughtful minds?  

What is one to do if we are not born with a temperament that is naturally big, extroverted, boldly expressive?  Read on…