Pick Yourself

This is Edwina. She’s about to go on stage to sing with the band, We Are Star Children. She is radiant, ebullient, in love with this moment. She looks like someone who said, “I want to do this.” And then picked herself. And did it.

Of course, it is an amazing feeling to be picked, to have someone reach out and say: “You should run for this office.” “Would you like to go out sometime?” “We’d like to offer you this promotion.” “You have just the right qualities to lead others. We’d like you to lead this team.”

It’s important, to be seen, valued, wanted. It makes us feel special.

But it’s also passive. My sister and I wrote a whole screenplay about a guy who lives in a basement studio apartment and works from home and yet somehow thinks someone’s going to find him there in the shadows and see his beauty. I so relate to this fantasy of being discovered, I was a “discover me!” actor for years…

Now, I challenge myself and others to stop waiting, to pick ourselves. Don’t wait to be tapped, we can tap ourselves. Don’t wait to see if someone offers us a promotion, a TED Talk, a date. Step up. Jump in. Announce what we want. Raise our hands. Volunteer. Pick ourselves. It might not work out, but at least we’re not colluding with fate to make sure opportunities never materialize.

A couple of years ago, a neighbor asked if I would consider running for local office. I said, “Sure. I’ll consider it.” While thinking, “No way. Not me.” He was relieved and said, “Good! Here’s a copy of the letter I sent to everyone I know in town talking about how great you’d be in this job!” Then, I really considered the opportunity. And threw my hat into the ring. I didn’t get the job, but was so glad I was pushed. It made me reflect on why it had taken someone else to see this opportunity and then nudge me towards it. What other opportunities do I simply not see? What wonderful adventures does my impoverished imagination negate before they are even tasted? What chances do I leave on the table?

From then on, I started to open my eyes, to see what I had not seen before, and to pick myself instead of waiting to be picked. Why not me?

Why not you?

This week, we take note of silent wishes, opportunities, possibilities, and pick ourselves.

Next week, like my generous and imaginative neighbor, we pick others!