Personal Presence: Magnetize vs. Radiate

In this photograph of Fatma, you get a sense of her presence. She is one of the few people I know who has a balance of both magnetizing in and radiating out. Her voice is lyrical, musical, calming, and exquisitely beautiful. It is light and rich at the same time. Her voice pulls one in, like smelling a flower. And, as you can see in this picture, her eyes radiate out. She bathes us in her presence.

Rather than thinking of people as introverted or extroverted, I think of people as either radiating out or magnetizing in. Both are powerful ways of being in the world. And all of us can play with both energies.

Personal presence is personal. Unique. And should be. It’s what makes people forever fascinating. Nobody should try to be less themselves. And though it’s wonderful to play with many behaviors in order to stretch ourselves or break habits, it’s also important to embrace our essential presence.

One of the first things people seem to assume when working with me is that I have some goal for their presence; that I might want them to be BIG and EXPRESSIVE and THEATRICAL. In fact, I want them to be wholly and only themselves, free of the habits and anxieties that might cloud their presence.

I lean towards radiating out. Which can be great when I’m on stage. I have to bring awareness when I’m talking with someone who is shy or when I’m in front of the camera. I want to make sure to match that energy and not overwhelm the person or look like a caricature of myself on camera. Our expressiveness has to shift as our circumstances and audience shifts. While playing a fierce and erratic character in Sharr White’s play, The Other Place, I worked with the idea of magnetizing, like a coiled snake: still, barely breathing, striking suddenly.

This week, think about where you generally fall on that Expressiveness Scale. Ask yourself: “How much of this is just who I am, and how much might be me pushing or suppressing, forcing or hiding , my natural, essential presence?”

Then play with magnetizing in: stillness, watchfulness, minimalism, essentialism. Think of Robert DeNiro, Helen Mirren, Samuel L. Jackson, Ben Kingsley, Jennifer Lawrence.

And then play with radiating out: waves of energy flowing outward. Think of Jimmy Fallon, Tabitha Brown, Chris Pratt, Will Smith, Ellen DeGeneres.

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“My Bad!” Normalizing Messing Up